recovery

I'm starting to enjoy brutal murder again. [I'm watching Bones] =)
Recently, I've been a bit depressive an cynical, to the point that I'm actually not happy about it. Which really isn't very good. To give you a taste, here is something I wrote a few days ago:

[...] It was of course the ass-holes that left the most offspring. The farmer that secretly stole from his neighbor. The drunk in the bar who would go from town to town impregnating women. And the slanty eyed b****** who squeezed every last penny from his subordinates. And although they say genetics plays little role in behavioral patters, I think that thousands of years of wildly reproducing jerks, would tip the balance at least somewhat towards a more 'cruel' society [...]

 So still being in my right mind, I decided to spare you my mad ravings. Now that I have spent two days sleeping and not doing anything, because I got sick (again), and for the first time in my life it actually is affecting  my brain. Well in other news we got the little first years though their little trials, it was pretty fun and I got a bunch of money on my phone out of it =) This year was pretty ok, the only problem, was that two fat guys on a truck came and said that we couldn't make a fire on the ground. So what do a bunch of smart people do? Well, we got a bunch of metal and made this platform thing 30 cm above the ground and tried to have some semblance of a fire on it. It ended up being small, and we had to hold an umbrella over it at one point (the only umbrella we had, btw...) but it served its purpose.

night time

So once again, I choose to blog instead of going to bed. Once again, it is a bad decision, but I just really feel like ranting at a page, which can do nothing to avoid the verbal abuse I'm about to do to it.

Aside from the usual "ugh" there is this new/old annoyance present. Sadly, I'm getting surer and surer by the day, that people suck, and that men are pretty much useless, and women rather annoying. I don't know what has motivated me to this new world view, if you might call it that. probably a mixture of things:

1) communication unit in English class.

we talked about how the genders communicate for the past two lessons, and I find myself disagreeing with many people quite a bit

2) deadwood

a nice little HBO serial that really is about how evil people are. Lots of killing of whores, men, indians, kids, etc. And of course no one gets punished, and no one ever really talks about it.

3) Wuthering Heights

I bought the book recently, and I'm quite enjoying it, however, it isn't exactly a testament to how nice and pretty people are. One of the main characters, Heathcliff, is more or less a creature without mercy or empathy, which makes him very harsh, even by my standards.

4) Gossip

recently I got confirmation, on something I'd been suspecting for a while, namely that one of my good acquaintances hails from the land of rainbows. And recently he's told me some of the harassing he's had to submit to here. I was very surprised, to find out the extent to which seemingly intelligent people would go just to make someone's life more difficult because of something that's really none of their business.

5) owie

this past I managed to get a really weird cold, that includes a runny nose and not being able to breathe properly (after 200m walking I was out of breath). But ignoring my obviously non-ideal condition I went dancing this weekend anyways, and barely managed to get home (although it's a 2 minute walk normally), because point one; air. And point two; my knee started hurting from the strain of me wildly flailing my limbs about in a rhythmic and aesthetically pleasing fashion. And now, instead of going to PE like normal people, I get there, say "I'm here" and dash as fast as I can away from there, because I can't run, and missing PE is a pain in the behind.

6) just life in general

yeah...

In accordance to this general mood I've been having, I remembered a really nice quote from "Dune":

[...] mercy was the ability to stop, if only for a moment. There was no mercy where there could be no stopping.

It struck me then, as a very true saying. Now I'm also realizing that the world we live in is quite merciless and unforgiving. Also people are bastards, only they choose to be slightly less bastardy in general, some more than others.

Well I'll stop being all pessimistic (I'm sure you're already tired of it), and get to sleep. Tomorrow is another day...

ladi dadi da

So everything's fine. I passed, I even already moved into the dorms (which is hellishly early for a third year Moscow resident, usually they don't let people like me in until after the 15th, so I'm pretty lucky =)), and better yet there are already plans for mischief forming. One involves paint and a photo camera, and the other well... I think you an guess what it involves =З

my 3 neighbors turned out to be more or less decent. One of them is never here (Lisa), one (Vera) is a quiet and unproblematic girl, who, I feel, is just a tiny bit too boring and a bit too social, making her borderline tolerable sometimes. The last (Zhenia, yes, another one not the plate throwing one, she went and took academic leave, based on "illness," because she didn't feel like "studying" anymore.) is plain odd... a bit like me I guess in that aspect, but that's about it. She likes going to bed early (like 10pm), and get up early (like 6 am) to do morning gymnastics =|. Also I get the feeling that if she were to be replaced by a robot wearing her skin, the only way we would notice is that she'd make hollow thunk noises if she bumped into something hard. She has a rather robotic air about her. I dunno. But all in all, methinks it'll be pretty ok here. My main problem right now will be getting sufficient sleep, which I'm not doing a very good job at, since I'm writing this instead of doing hw and going to bed, but I'll get there eventually.

That aside in the academic sphere the only big thing really was that I was apparently quite mistaken when I believed that I was rid of Comp Sci for the time being. It's called "computational mathematics" now. Sounds like SO much fun, like totally... uuuugh!

Instead of programming silly little games we get to compute all sorts of errors based on the way the machine saves the number in it's memory. I really could't think of anything that I'd like to do less. But I should't jump to conclusions, economics, for example, might turn out to be worse.

Anywhoos. I feel like all I did was complain, so I'll tell you something more productive now, that won't make you want to tear my throat out: I might actually get to finishing this one short story I've been writing since last summer. (it's not long, it's just really difficult to wrote somehow.) It's based on this weird dream I had, which to my recent sad realization was a rip off from bleach mashed together with the real world. I was actually quite sad when I realized that, because some of the ideas and concepts that arose I genuinely liked. But no matter, even if it was a rip off, it was a sub conscious one, so we'll write it off as "influence." =)
That's about all the time I have for you today, I'll try posting a bit more frequently now =)
toodles