first snow and other calamities

So, as the title suggests, we got our first snow. I know, what you're thinking. It's not even November for ****s sake, but this is Russia, and that's just how we roll. Or rather, that's just how mother nature likes to eat it's humans, either fried or in popsicles. And as you know, (or maybe not) the first snow, though it's a bit early this year, it always herald to the lazy people like myself, and many others, that it is high time to start doing all the coursework that you've been baling on for the last two months. (There's an analogous rule for the spring, where it's time to work, when the snow thaws) Well, aside from this sudden, downturn in weather, there's not all that much going on otherwise. aside from the usual programming for one class, reading for another class, more reading for both this class, and multitudes of others as well. Lots of busywork...

Today, however, there will be a lecture (in English) on exoplanets. I've no idea what they are, but I'm planning on going just for the sake of listening to some good English. And after that i get to stay up all night programming for my physical methods of investigation project, which i'm actually going to have to have half done by the end of November. and then there's the base labs, and, and, and, and, and... *sigh* so much work...
on the up side D might actually be returning earlier than I though. Here was thinking he'd be here only towards the end of November, but it turns out, that he'll have his last (or pre-last) rounds of tests around the 1st, and if the rest doesn't take too long, then maybe he'll be back by the 17th (which would be lovely, since I could drag him to the ball with me, and that would be quite fun.) well, soon enough, we'll see how it all will work out. all that's left to hope is that the whole hospital crap will actually work. That's my one big worry at the moment, aside from all the other crap.

On the up side, my nails are long now, and I bought decorative stickers for them, and they improve my mood every time I see them, which is kind of awesome I guess. *yay! for pretty nails*
well, folks, that's all for now. Got to run!

the magic of hugs

I may or may not have mentioned that I haven't been sleeping well since I moved into the dorms. I thought it was because I wasn't used to the new bed, and it seems I was very wrong. Turns out, that all a girl needs to be able to sleep like a baby is something to hug at night. Preferably, a soft fuzzy red pillow. 

this and that

It occurred to me that I haven't actually written about my life for a while, so I'll correct that. There's a reason for it, I'd think. Mostly, it's because there's a lot of uncertainly in some aspects in life, while there's too much certainty in others, and a bizarre mix of both in other's still.

Well, this September has kind of been making me think about the future a lot. Like my whole life is pretty much being decided now. I got to my base institute, I chose the area I'm going to be working in. The base is potentially the place I'll be building my career at, and that's somewhat of a scary thought to me. Permanence is something I'm not used to. I'll either be working in molecular dynamics or quantum chemistry. At the moment, I'm thinking I might try my bachelor on dynamics, and if I don't like it, I'll switch. My base is pretty awesome in that aspect. They pretty much let you do what you want, which you really don't find all that often. You generally are a work slave of your boss, and they don't seem to have it be as extreme here as it is in other places. So that's going pretty well for me.

In other news my bf got himself kicked out of the institute for various reasons. So he's been jumping hospitals all month back home to escape the army (there is a mandatory draft for all who aren't currently at school.) So there's been lots of vk (read fb) chatting, and little else, which is less than optimal, as you can imagine. He should be back before November, so 'till then...

Oh, snap!

So, I was walking to my base institute today, when I walked past car crash. like a real legit car accident, with somewhat shmushed cars, airbags, police and, of course, a big ol' traffic jam! I didn't see any injured people, but I'm tihinking that there were some, because just as I was walking past, a freaking helicopter flew by above me. There it is on the picture. but what entertained me far more is that I actually was able to watch it land ( That was the first time I ever saw a helicopter land in real life, which was somewhat exciting.) Funnily enough right next to my base is a birthing hospital, which apparently didn't have a helipad, so the helicopter landed in the parking lot of the hospital, as weird as it was. but the most entertaining part was when i thought everything was done, I crossed the street, and just as I was approaching the fence (it's like 3 meters high) around the hospital, Two dudes in blue with backpacks were climbing over it.
I saw how two grown, intelligent men, in their 30s to 40s clamber across a freaking fence and then proceed to run towards that selfsame car crash, where they would probably be stopping a nosebleed. (The cars were in pretty decent shape, and there was much calmness so I'm assuming that it was not a serious accident as much as some serious person. and by that i mean someone with a lot of money.)  

parallel worlds

Recently, I've been having trouble differentiating between dreams and reality. It's a really weird sensation. I'll be walking down the hallway, thinking about how I have to put money on my internet account, and then I'll remember that I spent all my money (which is like 15 000 at the moment) on buying some expensive thing that meant life or death, and then It hits me that that's a bit odd, and I realize that that had been a dream. Or, I'll be thinking about how my toe hurts, and how I was peeling off layers of nail and showing it to my mom, that once you get all the bad layers off, it becomes normal again (which it does, only problem is that toe nails don't really work like shark teeth, and they actually have to grow out.) It's an odd sensation, when dreams and reality start to mix. usually my dreams were always so totally alien and weird that I had no problems telling them apart from real life. As odd as it may seem; some episodes from life are  merging into dream, and sometimes I'm not sure if said thing really happened. But it straightens out after a while of thinking about the plausibility of the situation. 

free stuff!

A few days ago, we had a visit from the gas guy. The gas guy is this random maintenance person sent from whoever gives us our gas for the stove, and completely unsurprisingly, our 40 year old stove leaked, which is really not good, if you know aught of gas stoves. Happily, a bit of the old system still survives, and according to it, people on pension have the right to be given one from the government. As, you know we live with my grandma, so yesterday two men came and installed a new stove. For free. Just like that. I think that's pretty awesome. There used to be more programs like this one, but they kind of died in the 90s for various reasons. So you can say socialism sucks all you want, but there really can be no complaints about getting free stuff.

dance

If you are a dancer, then you know thaat some dances stay with you forever. In social dance, they come completely randomly when to people who dance with eachother occasionally suddenly click and for the duration of a song enter into their own world where two near strangers fuse into one consciousness. I hope that in their lives everyone would have the delight to experience such intimacy, such ecstasy. For me there have been three such dances, and I will tell you of them.

The first one actually happened at my old high school, at the swing dance club. During that time the leadership had started introducing more slow tunes to the usual repertoire in order to force the little ones to actually feel what they were doing in detail, thus making them realize that they kinda suck. This dance was to the tune of the Pink Panther theme by Henri Mancini. It started with a funny sort of invitation. None of that "May I have this dance?" nonsense. No. He lassoed me. We caught eachothers eye, and he started swinging a pretend lasso rope above his head, and then lassoed me. I played along. And the dance that followed was very extraordinary. He had become a decent lead by that time, and knowing nothing of blues, we danced blues. It was very musical, mostly to the melody of the saxophones, with dips, and long turns during which I was in control. He was indeed one of those leads who were not afraid to look me in the eye. I'm quite certain our gazes were very intense. It was free form dance, stepping with the melody rather than the beat, imaginative in the tiny nuances that you usually never notice, tense, filled with subdued energy. Masses of it. Beautiful. And saturated with joy. After it ended, we broke our stare, and the most gigantic smiles spread across our faces, and the tension found an outlet. We celebrated that moment. That song. That dance. From that moment on, whenever pink panther played we sought each other out every time, hoping to repeat that dance. But you can never repeat a moment once it's passed, only cherish its memory.

The second one happened towards the end of a PSU swing dance club meeting. It was one of those rare occasions when the great god of SCAHS swing (and by that I mean the founder of the cswing dance club at my high school) visited. And as luck would have it, one of SCAHS favorite songs, bu our favorite artist started playing. Michael Buble's Fever. This dance is one of the best I've ever danced with, and one of the most forceful ones. When he gives a lead, you have no choice but to be led wherever he desires. He has the ability to bend you down during a side by side Charleston and you'll actually do it, and it'll look good, even if you have no idea what in the world you're doing. I distinctly remember an instance when he led a jump, and I realized that I had jumped by the impact of landing. That's how awesome he is. The song is one of those where you know every single note, and the precise timing of every accent and drum beat. Where you know every melody of every instrument, and you've danced to it a thousand times a thousand different ways. And you can do a thousand more and never get bored, or repeat the feeling you get. This dance was extraordinary. It was so very dynamic. He clearly experimented with moves. A dip where I free fall backward only to be caught by him, and deep standard dips, jumps that were perfectly in time with the music. So perfect that it sends currents of exhilaration down your spine.Anyone looking at us from the side would not have believed that it wasn't choreographed. Such ease and complexity and variation. Infinite variation. I doubt that we repeated any moves for the duration of the song. There were many subtle style changes as the music changed. Perfect. It was indeed perfect.

The third dance also happened at PSU swing. This was my last dance at PSU swing. And as it later turned out my second to last dance with this particular lead. We met again at an Arts Fest concert, and danced a few times. But they didn't compare. Nothing compares to that dance.I walked up to him and asked him for a dance, and he spent quite some time choosing a song. He picked a very smooth blues tune with many variations. you know, the kinds of blues tune that is slow and quiet, yet holds within itself infinite energy. Quite frankly I remember very little of the song, neither the melody, language, or anything else. That was the intensity of our dance, it was all consuming. I danced with my eyes closed as had by then become my custom. I could only hear the music, and feel his leads, and my own motion. His style is heavy set, but clear, and his leads insistent, though never forceful. I could almost feel his fascination during the dance. It was amazing. At one point he completely broke contact. I was blind, and he had sent me spinning away from him quite quickly. I had no idea where the walls were. I spun. And spun. And spun, added flourishes. Then when my mind began to regain its bearings, to wonder where my guide was, and thoughts of smashing into a wall flashed though my mind, he returned with a lindy swing out. Ah! Brilliance! Complete freedom in total submission and trust. Unique. Eventually, the music ended, leaving us both breathless and reluctant, for we were both leaving the swing dance club forever. But we smiled, knowing that our dance was one we'll always remember not only because it was the last, but because it was one of the best.

Ever since I left State College the dances have been at best satisfactory, but usually somewhat disappointing. There is no blues dance, here nor swing. Only a few lovers of hustle which is way too latino for my taste. I haven't felt that magical connection with my partner, where you lay your souls bare and are free for a short while, and true.