Wednesday, March 23, 2011

everything

Oh gosh. So much has happened since I last wrote I’m having trouble deciding where to begin. I guess I’ll begin with a warning to a certain person who somehow managed to find this:

Do not, under any circumstances, talk to me about this post, Klezovich! (I’d rather you wouldn’t read it at all, but it’s not like I could actually stop you from this.)

Now, that being said, I’ll continue.
Well I guess it all really began in the beginning of March. Just a few days before March 8th actually, which is a really big deal here as you may or may not know. It is international women’s day, and the day when all the men say thank you to all the women for being awesome. (The same thing in the other direction happens February 23rd.) Well let’s just say that a certain someone, who for all intents and purposes shall be called number one, and I shared a very endearing moment the details of which I’ll be withholding from the general public. After this said person disappeared from all radars, but as that was the usual pattern with him, I ignored it. A few days later there was a party in honor of said holiday, to which I naturally went with one of my friends. We had a blast! We stopped dancing only once. The very first slow dance, when there were still way too few people around. But that changed soon. Soon enough the space got filled up, and I met an acquaintance of mine and his friend and we danced for a while, and then shared quite the exciting slow dance, which ended in him picking me up and spinning me around. After that, of course, he disappeared, and I put that instance into the [awesome dance] folder. But, unexpectedly, he returned after about an hour. And again some silly dancing, then another slow dance, and then we spent the rest of the evening together. When the party was over I detached myself from his grasp, and ran off back to the dorm without saying goodbye. When I got back, there was a message in my inbox. We messaged each other until 4am. And he sent me quite a lot of songs. I guess you could kind of call it web-serenading. We’ve kept at it since then. But that is all it is. (And it seems he has a gf… :[ ) As for number one… well, he’s been ignoring me, which I’m not happy about to say at the least. So, as always… life does its thing.

In other news: I have successfully reestablished my reign of terror. How, you ask?

As you may or may not know/guess , I’m friends with the local druggies. And they have been bugging me all semester about etc etc etc you get the idea. Well the day before yesterday they finally killed my nerves completely, and combined with the above mentioned I decided to give it a go. However it backfired a bit in their face. Every normal person is happy happy happy. I was the most furious I have ever been in my entire life. It was like someone took all the things that annoy me, and make me angry, and let them roam freely in my brain. I couldn’t sit still for very long because I felt that all that if I did, the second someone did even the slightest thing to annoy me, I would… I don’t even know what I would do. I was furious at everything. Everything made me angry. Absolutely everything.
When looked at objectively, really, it was a very interesting sensation. All inner barriers that usually hold me back from yelling at people and doing them physical injury and torture them slowly and drink their blood from a black chalice were gone. All that was left was logic. One of the guys was so frightened that he expressed the wish to shut himself in his room with a knife. At that moment if I serious decided to do him harm, that wouldn’t have saved him. It would actually have made it worse probably (you know there’s nothing to excite a maniac than a shiny sharp pointy object and some blood), I felt like I could have done the deed bare handed and successfully if the need arose. It was very strange. There was also the issue that I had trouble understanding words. I could hear sounds, but they made no sense to me. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even expect them to hold any meaning. They were just sounds. I saw him last night. He was still terrified. Hehe. When I just stopped being angry, it was interesting how one of my druggie friends acted when I walked up to him. It was just like the behavior of a lower ranked dog before the alpha male. Avoiding eye contact, he ceased talking, sat quietly, attentively. Then I let him know that I was nice again and he relaxed.
The only aftereffect that is left of that incident is that the cap on my bottle of anger seems to be looser than usual. People who usually just annoy me slightly I find hardly tolerable. In the sense that I want to punch them in the face, and make them bleed tears. So yeah. That’s all for now folks. ;]

Ah, I just remembered. the drama queen who threw plates about that I'm sure you remember, put an egg in the microwave, and almost killed her roommate, who had her mooved out. She now lives with a couple of first years. =D
I’ll keep you posted on any new developments. =D

2 comments:

  1. As much as your rage letting loose against cowering people may fascinate me (one part of me has this really odd curiosity..), I hope you're maintaining normal bounds of (in)sanity. Don't lose it, Kati!

    <3

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  2. Hey, very long time since I've seen you. Stumbled upon your blog while checking facebook. Its a pretty exciting read, especially the druggie part. Im not much for romances. Anyway, you being so creative it was only a matter of time before you tried it..... From what I know, girls usually smoke alone because being around others really changes how they act and because you get the freedom of your room. My girlfriend usually paints and does yoga, I watch Discovery channel episodes and eat a lot haha.
    Glad all is well!
    Come back to SC sometime

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